Judy, that's a riot. We have a niece who teaches high school computer
techies. She's going to love it. Bless you, Polly
...
> Polly - I sympathize! BUT these are also the folks who don't delete the
> addresses of everyone everywhere who send the message along -- why don't
> they realize that this is one way spammers get our email addresses????????
> here's one that I often send back to "those" folks! <<spew warning>>
> VIRUS ALERT
> We have been struggling with virus junk so much, I just have to show you
> the alert that just came to me:
> If you receive an email entitled "Badtimes," delete it immediately. Do
> not open it. Apparently, this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase
> everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks
> within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the stripes on all your
> credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking
> on your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you
> attempt to play.
> If you drive a Ford, it will start missing like a Chevy.
> It will program your phone auto dial to call only your mother-in-law's
> number. This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. It will drink
> all your beer. For god's sake, are you listening? It will leave dirty
> socks on the coffee table when you are expecting company. It will replace
> your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all the while dating
> your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing your Visa card.
> It will cause you to run with scissors and throw things in a way that is
> only fun when someone loses an eye. It will rewrite your backup files,
> changing all your active verbs to passive tense and incorporating
> undetectable misspellings that grossly change the interpretations of key
> sentences.
> If the "Badtimes" message is opened in a Windows 95/98/ME/XP environment,
> it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in
> dangerously close to a full bathtub.
> It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and
> pillows, it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk. PLEASE, WARN
> AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN! Now copy, paste, and send this to everyone
> you know or the program I
> just put on your hard drive while you read this E-mail will open up
> your CD-ROM and reach out and slap you upside the head.
> "Polly Esther" <bhmar...@cableone.net> wrote in message
> news:69jd3fF31aag6U1@mid.individual.net...
>>I enjoy just plain funny forwards, especially cartoons or precious pet
>>antics. The ones I'd like to dynamite are the 'send this to 10 people or
>>. . .'.
>> Hell will freeze before I ever send one to anybody. Even if I really
>> want to. It's just the pig-headedness in me I guess. Polly
