In the $cientology version of the Christmas story,  Joseph and Mary and all the
others were not sent to Bethlem to be taxed,
rather XEMU called them into to be taxed and then shot them up with glygol and
transported them to Teegachi.

Now I say,  find out what on what day XEMU was born, was he in waddling clothes
or a space suit,  did any wise men show up bearing gifts, which, if any,
galatic star was shining brightly and so forth.  Armed with this data I say we
make a proposal to the $cios.  We'll call a truce on XEMUMAS if they'll truce
on CHRISTMAS.

Wes Fager