I was sitting in a cardboard box by the side of the street pretending
I owned the streets.. I had a bottle of water and there was a clean
source of water by the wall that my box was next to.. the food I ate
came from sweeping and mopping floors for a Deli.  I was offered food
for the service.  And I taped together fags, piece by piece, until I
made a long cigarette, enough to last 3 minutes of dragging.  I was in
the public and what I was doing had nothing to do with living life..
So was there a definate way?  Because it could be easily determined by
sense that I was not living life.. My way is of the Chinese mystic..
Or I wrote things on paper that were eccentric.. being an eccentric
was a modulation.. I was neither good at writing books as I was not
very eccentric, but I followed the illustrations to double into a
Chinese mystic.  The fact that I busied myself writing on a tablet
didn't pass off as living life even in the public place I was doing
it, filled with businessmen and consumers.. Because of my weaknesses I
was incapable facing up to a hard reality.. but the closest thing to
it was a True ride.. I wanted my ride to last forever and I wanted it
to be True.  So I left the vicinity and decided to get a job as a
burger flipper so I could live that dream.. where life would be easy
and the games I played had something essential to it.. I even picked
up books by the Grand Iconoclast to liberate myself and certify my
liberal lifestyle.  When I sent my notes to a publisher and he agreed
to make it in paperback I was first elated.. later on, I was nervous
about my role.. I was expected to be better than what I was..  And
from that point, my life only meant preserving my dignity.. and my
thoughts were only about preserving that image I held up to the public
with much exaggeration and passion in the beginning only to make me a
nervous wreck since I had to look over my shoulder to see if people
found that stigma in me.. the phantom of my past.. the phantom bride..

The Phantom Bride -by Seung B. Kim